Hi, I am Lani Espinas, LMFT, CEO and Founder of Psyche Fitness, Inc.  I didn’t know I would be interested in making a career as a therapist. As an adolescent, I wanted to own a corporate travel agency so I could explore the world. But in college, when I took my first class in  psychology, everything changed. For the very first time in my life, I finally did well in school. I was able to comprehend my texts books. School was never for me since I have  a reading comprehension difficulty. Thanks to my ADHD, which is a common issue for those that have ADHD. My mind stay focused reading about  the psychology of human behavior, unlike all those boring text books we had to read in middle and high school.   I found myself becoming passionate about understanding human behavior. That was the turning point when I decided to pursue my career in psychology.  I shocked my family when I decided  to go to graduate school since without a Master’s degree, I wouldn’t be able to do much in the field of psychology.

As I reflect upon my life,   as a child, I was always the observer - I would observe people closely, curious about how they interacted, felt, and thought. During graduate school, a high school friend once said to me, “Lani decided to go pro‘, because she knew that I had always been a “mini therapist” even as a teenager.

What truly inspired me to choose this field was my desire to give children a voice - especially those who are expected to be “seen and not heard”. They’re told, “There’s nothing wrong with you. You are fine! Children are to be seen, not heard.” These are all what many kids grow up hearing from their parents. I wanted to advocate for them to help parents understand their children and be the child’s voice. I have a tender spot in my heart for abused and neglected children and animals. Thus, I worked in the child welfare system from 1997-2022.

Children are innocent. One’s childhood becomes one’s life story. Their upbringing molds them to whom they become in their adulthood. They need positive role models, to be heard, loved, and to be told, “I believe in you.”

I will never forget when I worked at Angel’s Flight, a shelter for runaway and homeless youth where we had many gang members there and even rival gangs. One of the favorite things these tough teenagers on the exterior loved was when the staff read them a bed night story. They never had anyone read them a story nor tuck them in bed. On the surface, was the “toughness” and inside, was a tender child. It was these teenagers from 18th Street, Tortilla Flats, etc that taught me about the gang culture. Just as we are told, “Not to judge a book by it’s cover.” It’s the same thing for people, “Not to judge a person for what they look like, how they’re dressed, if they have all these tattoos, etc.” These smart, creative, and talented kids had so much pain and trauma pent up inside.

I believe we are all teachers to one another and these kids taught me a lot when I was in my mid-20s and I am forever grateful to them.  In my jobs as a clinical supervisor and clinical director for over twenty years, I would teach my staff (therapists) that gangs is not a problem. It’s a symptom of abuse and neglect. Everyone wants to be loved and accepted. Thus, these kids found their families and sense of belonging in the street since their needs were not getting met in the home.